Joy Comes In The Morning

We got a little exorcised this morning over our Co' Cola and Pringles while reading the morning (Kansas City Star) paper. It was at the end of our morning routine - Sports, Front Page, Editorials - that we saw this bottom-of-the-page and bottom-of-the-barrel cartoon inside our own home.

Bein' as we're not morning people and our sinuses go haywire this time of year, we sat down and had us a one-sided chat via e-mail with the Vice-President, Editorial Page of The Kansas City Star, one Ms. Miriam Pepper (mpepper@kcstar.com). We then copied our mild thoughts to every single member of the editorial staff. No need for you to be left in the dark...

Miriam,

This is not for publication, it is simply a personal note.

I want to commend you and your staff for the enjoyable read pertaining to so many of today's issues. I was riveted by the feelings for/against/ and ambivalent toward President-Elect Obama. I was, as usual, amused by the incisive wit of Lee Judge's Funkhouser/Squitiro send-up. Then I saw the Steve Breen cartoon that you made the decision to include: "Fuzzy Math".

You made a bigoted, mean-spirited, factually incorrect statement in your Opinion section. As a native here, I understand when street people do it. I don't understand why you made it. Has some gay or lesbian person harmed you in your life to such an extent that you would posit all gay relationships to be factually incorrect? The graphic points out incorrect sums of two numbers. We are to believe that YOU believe that two people of the same gender in a marriage is an incorrect outcome.

I am above taking the bait to comment on your marriage, of which I know nothing. It would speak well of your education and position if you did the same. The logical conclusion from the graphic YOU chose to run is that marriage consists solely of chromosomal variety. You know better than that. Whether you threw a bone to your ignorant subscribers or just needed to throw a haymaker at the last acceptable target for ridicule and diminution, you hit your mark.

You're likely not talented enough to create your own graphic, but as Editor of this section, you may as well have created this one. We get that you don't embrace us. We get that you think our relationships are fodder for mockery and contempt. We get that you experience some internal, reflexive revulsion at the notion of us. You're entitled to all that. And we don't need your embrace, approval or support.

But if I'm going to get your thumb in my eye every time you bubble over in your hatred and use someone else to yell, "YOU'RE AN INCORRECT, ABSURD BEING!", then I will consign you and your paper to the collection of influences not permitted in my home. If you're going to suggest to my family and I that we are absurd enough to be on a par with 1 + 1 = 7, then I'm going to be bold enough to say,

Fuck you and your newspaper. Who needs either of you?

Rough language? That's what we thought when we read, "Fuzzy Math". Welcome to the club.

--The After Therapy Gang