Species Near Extinction

Deaf Lesbians Near Extinction

By now you've probably read the headline: "Deaf Lesbian Gets Death Penalty In Chainsaw Murder Of Deaf Lesbian". No guarantees here, but I'm bettin' that's a first. On a lot of counts.


Daphne Wright (left) was convicted of the gruesome murder of Darlene VanderGeisen. Denee Daniels, a cashier at Ace Hardware Store, said that Wright paid cash for a $52.99 electric chainsaw and returned later that same afternoon to buy oil for the blade. (I did not make that up.) Let it not be said that our lesbians don't know their way around a power tool.

I confess to not having contemplated the suddenly shrinking numbers of deaf lesbians in recent years. So as not to be considered discriminatory, neither have I contemplated the numbers of deaf baby seals, deaf bald eagles, or deaf white guys. We had a deaf couple up the street when I was growing up. Nice folks: quiet, had nice kids with whom we played, never talked with their hands full. In fact, the state's School For The Deaf was mere blocks from our home. Many a night, we would sit outside in the fall air and listen to the crickets outchirp the cheering from their football stadium. That's not mean. It just is.

I should go on record as being against Chainsaw Massacres of any type against anyone. I am four-square opposed to cutting people up - unless it is to harvest parts that may prolong my own life and more-or-less has the consent of the person being mutilated. But this story grabbed my attention as having one-upped the "Man Bites Dog" headline. This raises the bar to "Baby Seal Clubs Baby Seal, Gets Club Sentence".

They might have considered a teensy-weensy bit of leniency for her having knocked Imus off the CNN crawl for at least a few minutes. Come to think of it, she probably deserves the needle for having hacked up the wrong hack. Hindsight. Whatcha gonna do?

You're not gonna top this one for a long, long time. If you live to be 100, you are unlikely to ever again see the conviction of a black, deaf lesbian who hacked up her deaf lover's new deaf lesbian girlfriend....and got a lethal injection for her efforts.

This calls for a campaign. "Save The Deaf Lesbians!" (From each other, if nothing else.)