To Me At 18

Dear Tommy at 18,

You have about 10 minutes to be really, really angry about how things have panned out in your heart until now. Get it out of your system in a hurry because you are about to become who you will always be. Whatever you have in your pockets in the days, weeks, and months to come will stay with you for the rest of your life, in one way or another.

You're going to be invited to travel the world and sing. Grasp the opportunity with both hands. Run to it. College waits. When they ask you to sign the deal for the second year, say yes. This is what you will regret not having done. College waits. Living your dreams does not wait. You get a couple of shots at the perfect road and then it vanishes into a second-best trip...at best. Stay on the road until they make you go home. You were born to this, whether you believe it or not.

You are better than you think. You are not as good as you can be, but you are the last one to realize your gifts. You will not be first on the list in anyone's memory, but be happy to be happy using what you have to its fullest expression. Sing like nobody ever told you that you shouldn't. Sing until they make you stop. You're about to be able to play the piano, too. Surprise! Pound the life out of every keyboard you see until they tell you to stop. Be happy! Be happy! Be happy!

You are gifted in a rare way when it comes to speaking. The voice that emanates from your face is not the one people will expect when they see you. You channel a source that is articulate beyond your own ability to comprehend. Just open your mouth and it will be there. You will never have anxiety about what to say when called upon to speak. There will be times you are called upon at a moment's notice. Just smile and say "Yes". The words will be there.

Be true to your gifting at every turn. No amount of money or security will ever erase the inscription on your forehead to do what you know to do.

You will not love in a way that is convenient or easy. You will love hard. You will be hard to love. Don't despair. Always hope. You will not marry at 22 or 30 or 40. You will not have children and picket fences and family times at the table or around the tree. You can, however, be fulfilled. Your love and your calling will be the ultimate conflict. How you resolve that conflict will define you at every moment of your life. You can swing from one to the other, you can hide one under the other, or you can stand whole before the One who made you and do what you were gifted and called to do.

No one will understand. Everyone will demand your allegiance and few will offer you their mercy and compassion. You will inspire judgment and be prone to it yourself. Close your eyes and hear your heart. You are singularly equipped for this. Never take the easy road. Your voice will often be a decade out of step with your surroundings. Don't be cowed. Keep speaking. Keep speaking even when you mis-speak. Perfection has not been visited upon you any more than it has the next fool. You will all arrive at the same destination, only you will share the road with those who can endure hard traveling. Embrace those who travel by your side with compassion. They are not there to be your constant companions, but are there for a season. Give them what they need and take what you need from them. This is not a zero-sum game. You can give without receiving and not feel cheated. You can receive when you have nothing to give without feeling guilty. Sometimes it just works out that way.

Your heart is correct. Your head is the suspect one. When you have to choose, ignore the reasoning and embrace the feeling. If you don't, you will always regret having ignored your spirit.

You're OK, kid. Take off the windbreaker. This is about to get interesting. Now go out there and live life in the center of the room.

Love,
Tom at 41