Dead. Good.

Sen. Craig Thomas, a conservative Republican in the Senate from Wyoming, has been dead for a week now. People are just starting to notice. That's a good sign. Mainly, it's a symbol that the stench of a live Republican is only barely distinguishable from that of a dead one. Harsh? Read on.

Thomas on a variety of issues:

1. Voted "YES!" (while wearing balloons and a thong) to deny Gay Marriage to consenting adults.

2. Voted "NO!" (while carrying a baseball bat and a cat-o'-nine-tails) to including non-heterosexuals in Hate Crimes Legislation.

3. Voted "YES!" (while pantsless and holding lube) to the government's right to wiretap your cell phone.

4. Voted "NO!" (while waving $100 bills at unemployed lesbians) when asked to vote for Anti-Discrimination Employment measure aimed at gays and lesbians.

5. Voted "YES!" (while holding a match under a drag queen) to an anti-flag burning amendment. Logical conclusion: OK to desecrate a fag, not OK to desecrate a flag. You tell me how else that works out.

6. Voted "NO!" to spend $100 million to reduce teen pregnancy by education and contraception. Apparently thought dumb, pregnant teenagers were hot.

7. Voted "YES!" on criminal penalty for harming an unborn fetus during another crime. Translation: Hurt a dyke, ride a bike. Break an egg, you're going to The Big House.

8. Replaced Dick Cheney as Wyoming's only representative in the House of Representatives. Read into that what you will. If you can't read, we'll help you.

9. Voted "YES!" to forbid lawsuits against gun manufacturers in firearm crimes. Compare: You can sue your baby's car-seat manufacturer if it contributes to your baby's death. But guns are a different matter altogether. Translation: The gun company gets off easier if you kill your kids with a gun than Graco does if their baby seat fails.

10. Voted "NO!" on purchaser background checks at gun shows. This is known as the Gun Show Exemption. If you're crazy, have a record, or are otherwise forbidden from buying guns, just get yourself down to the exhibition hall in your town and skirt the entire system. The late Sen. Smith will grin a big one for you while he burns in hell.

And you thought WE were nasty.