And we know we're not alone. Someone on the inside of that festering cesspool of society's castoffs has a cellphone camera that they smuggled in with their poonaynay and we want to see this biotch at her livin' worst. We want the kneeling down, eating pussy, nappy headed, scrubbing toilets with her diamond-crusted toothbrush photo. And we will pay for it, too. Not a lot. But you're in friggin' prison! You think you have negotiating room? Please, Mary.
Nobody's even going to remember you ever lived once you're out of that joint. Just fork over the pic, we'll go away giddy and you can get back to giving head in the back of a conversion van in a major city's alleys. Or whatever white-collar crime you committed that landed you in the Hilton wing.
We also want this to be Radisson's new promotional flier. "Hilton? (pic of grotesque, cross-eyed Paris mumbling "Dass Hot" into some Negress's labia majora while scrubbing johns with her Tiffany toothbrush)." We Think Not. Radisson....where the heirs we put on don't end up in the joint."
We also want a pic of Kathy Hilton going on a hunger strike, just for good measure. We realize she's probably been on pure liquids since giving birth to this dual pox on humanity (if the reports of her Jug O' Wine fetish pan out), but still. Serves her right. Marry for money, expect nothing but trouble if you choose to procreate. (This rule does not apply to homosexuals who are welcome to marry -well, you know what we mean - but who will not accidentally procreate.)
We would also like to invite People Magazine, Us Weekly, The National Enquirer, Glamour, Cosmo, The Advocate, and Martha Stewart Living to have us over for a week each so we can guest-edit their Most Despicable Heterosexuals Of The Year Issue. I think this year is shaping up to be one son-of-a-bitch of a contest! Only if Lindsay Lohan actually does blow off that knife and then disembowels herself with same will this be a shoe-in year.
Stay tuned, my merry mo's. Mama's feelin' better, the fan is on, and the shit is about to fly! Happy Pride Month!
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