Monica Emmerson's Travel Day To-Do List
Sippy cup, sippy cup... Hold toddler, look harried, contact media, get in front of the story before somebody with a Blackberry emails CNN with a tale that you threw a hissy in the airport that required half the U.S. domestic armed forces to address.
Make sure you're not the bad gal from the get-go. Everybody's going to initially buy the Security People Gone Mad angle. Forty-eight hours of publicity, let it slip that you were a Secret Service employee to bolster your credibility, wrangle an ill-deserved apology and free flights for life for you and the kid.
Contact one of those sippy cup manufacturers and hint that when this all blows over you'd be willing to do one of those ironic wink-and-a-nod commercials to push their product. Jot down a few notes for how I explain to the tot that I used him as a prop in what became an international sham job. We all hate our parents by the age of 16 anyway. What the hell? He'll have a better excuse than most.
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