Felled By The IRS

Apologies for the recent hiatus. A battle royale with the IRS has diverted our attention from daily musing to matters less desirable by far.

No, not that IRS. This one is Immune Reconstitution Syndrome, sometimes known as IRIS (Immune Reconstitution Inflammatory Syndrome). As opposed to the Devil's Own Accountants, this IRS is actually a good thing. It occurs when one's immune system wakes up, as it were, and recognizes the variety of viruses running through the body. Persistent fever, sweats, nausea and the attendant laundry it requires is evidence that my guinea pig pills are working as we'd hoped.

The fatigue is constant, drenching sweats occur half a dozen times a day and writing gets lost in the process. One fears dripping into the laptop and electrocuting all living beings within a reasonable perimeter. We have not missed the Rosie/Elizabeth flap. We just prefer not to dignify Elizabeth Hasselbeck or her wrong-headed rants. Had she not gone weeks without bathing on Survivor or married a not-quite-good-enough football player, she'd be Elizabeth Filarski, a single woman living in New Jersey and dreaming of showers with Bill O'Reilly. I speak for many of us when I say that when you fuck with Rosie, you fuck with all of us. She's big. We're bigger. And you almost have to come to us to have your hair done.

When this beneficial malady passes, we will be back to our snarky ways - putting our own spin on the news and gossip of the day, revelling in our own social ineptitude, and calling spades what they are. Your kind words and thoughts while we test just how much sweat 600 thread-count sheets can hold are appreciated. (We have a shirt hanging from yesterday afternoon that is still completely drenched....so this is no average leak we've sprung.)

For today, we will be glued to the Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee where two children from our hometown of Olathe, Kansas entered the semi-finals today. So as not to over-glorify the children of Kansas, these kids are, like 90% of the participants, ringers from the third-world brought here to make us look smart. Yours truly bombed out of the school spelling bee in consecutive years with the words "coffee" and "colon". The irony was not lost on us the year we had a coffee colonic. In retrospect, we're grateful we never had to spell "sulphuric" and "rectum".

We shall return in short order with near-daily posts. Thank you for your patience while we take a few days to simply set a spell.