"I Didn't Mean To" Hall Of Fame

There are lots of things people don't "mean" to do. We have a list of our own unintentional acts a mile long. This week, however, we were treated to not one but two high-profile "I didn't mean to..." incidents.

First, as we know, former Wisconsin Governor and Republican Presidential Wannabe, Tommy Thompson, didn't mean to suggest that employers should have the right to fire gay employees simply for being gay. We assume the Governor is claiming the ever-popular Tourette's Defense, in which his brain simply failed to communicate effectively with his mouth. It happens. We firmly believe Ann Coulter's connection is permanently impaired. But it's the size of the stage, not the faux pas, that we notice.

Second, Paris Hilton pined that she "didn't mean to" drive drunk. We assume she didn't mean to get caught, as money tends to give people the notion that everything is fair game. We also assume she didn't mean to get convicted and sentenced to several days in jail....jail!!...for her actions. As heiresses go, we assume this moves her to the bottom tier, if that wasn't her previous rank.

Paris downed several top-shelf cocktails, put her key in the ignition, and her foot on the gas. But by no means did she mean to drive under the influence....let alone do so recklessly. And anyone who could think differently simply doesn't understand wealth, privilege and the insatiable desire for press of any kind. MAAD has since changed its name to reflect "Mothers Against Affluent Driving", just to cover all its bases.

From now on, we would like to see people of privilege own their actions. At the very least, we think we deserve a more creative and satisfying excuse than the one found on the lips of every 3-year-old. Paris runs with enough degenerates that one would think she has an entire 24-carat gold file cabinet full of ancient papyrus filled with calligraphied excuses that range from the improbable to the downright impressive.

Thompson ran with the Bushies. If that's not fertile ground for finding fine fudging, we admit we're at a loss to help the man.

So the 2007 inductees (we just know it won't get better than this for the next 7 months) into the "I Didn't Mean To" Hall of Fame are Paris (hiccup) Hilton and Tommy ("fire the faggots") Thompson. Congratulations to both.