Big Gay Vacuum

Rosie Bids Adieu to "The View"
Posted Apr 24th 2007 10:35PM by TMZ Staff

There is a strong buzz in Hollywood that Rosie O'Donnell will announce Wednesday (April 25) that she is leaving "The View" -- and she'll make the announcement on the show.

Say it ain't so. Just when we'd decided to break our Star Jones-inspired boycott of The View (before she was fired and liposuctioned), we learn that our favorite View Gal and all-'round good egg Ro' O'Do' is beating feet for a yet-to-be-announced gig.

It's no secret that our gal Ro is in the running to replace Bob Barker as Groper-In-Chief at The Price Is Right. We think it's beneath her, but The Biggest Lesbian in TV has earned the right to do whatever her heart desires. Barbara Walters was seen wearing Depends, as the departure of her ratings savior has caused her to shit uncontrollably. Donald Trump has retreated to an undisclosed location.

The oncoming dearth of real gay voices on TV is chilling. Neil Patrick Harris and T.R. Knight notwithstanding, Ellen DeGeneres is the only free-speaking, be herself gay personality on the tube. And we all know Ellen has a laser-like focus on being funny. Good on her. Politics ain't for the weak-hearted. Donna Brazile (CNN) almost counts, but nobody gives a homo-bathed opinion on the day's events and the state of the world like Rosie. She's an old time, bomb-lobbing, conservative knicker-twister who created her own mold. She turned heads, stomachs, and daytime TV on its head with her wit, courage, and thinly-veiled gay rage. We'll miss her for as long as she's gone...which shouldn't be long.

The View has been an ideal, high-profile place for a Big Gay Gal to speak her mind to desperate homebound housewives in the a.m. While we acknowledge the potential entertainment value of an all-new set of skill games on The Price Is Right (Spot The Fake Boobs, Shar-pei or Star Jones?, Pin The Subpoena On The Republican, Pick a Toup' For The Trump), we think there are obvious pitfalls to a lesbian having "Come On Down" as her catch phrase. We're going on record as betting that she's not seriously after Barker's job. Watch for another rant opportunity to fall on her plate faster than you can say "Star Jones Married A Queer". She's instant ratings. And that matters.

The right place for O'Donnell, if not in government, is Air America Radio. This Speak Truth To Power powerhouse deserves an unfettered soapbox where she need not apologize to Baba Wawa every time she says what the rest of us were thinking. And nobody should have to sit that close to Elizabeth Hasselbeck without having the option of punching her in the mouth. We say, "So long Ro'....and God's speed."

No worries here about this TV Titan landing on her feet. The only question is who else's feet will she land on? We're hoping they're big and important. And a gentle reminder to Ms. Walters: You made your bones asking tough questions of powerful people. Let's hope this isn't a sign that you've lost your backbone due to osteoporosis...or a simple lack of guts. Daytime TV was in desperate need of a conversation about something other than EVOO and how bra straps cut into the back. Regis is so yesterday. Rachael Ray is an over-hyped flash in the pan. And Tyra Banks...well, bless her heart.

Oprah is everlasting because she is who she is. Rosie is in the same mold - only with a potty mouth. And that makes her a lot more like us than Oprah will ever be.