Nappy Headed WHAT?

As I'm one who has been characterized as "quick to speak", I consider myself uniquely qualified to take a swing at this one. Besides, this is Kansas. Nobody who lives close enough to egg my house could possibly be offended.

It seems that the grumpy, withered old Voice Of The North, one Imus by name, has gotten hisself into deep doo-doo with the following conversation on his radio program, Imus In The Morning:

"That's some rough girls from Rutgers," saith Imus. "Man, they
got tattoos."

"Some hardcore hos," saith the show's producer,
Bernard McGurk.

"That's some nappy headed hos there,
I'm going to tell you that," Imus spake.

Having done time as both a Chicago and San Francisco resident, and having some personal friends who hath educated me on nappy heads and hos, I thought I should have me a peek before I passed judgment. It's one thing to hurl an insult willy-nilly. But if you have a point, well... Maybe you're just pointing out the obvious.

So I have done me some diggin' and produce for you, dear reader, the following photos to compare with the conversation above:

Thus far, I'd say that Imus owed the by-the-balls apology he gave soon after his remarks. No one pretends that these were the also-rans in Trump's pageant. But no nap is readily apparent and I don't see a strong resemblance with the Ho's featured on the delicious HBO Undercover series on prostitution. First, everbody has a full set of teeth - whether they borrowed them or grew them. Leastwise they had the sense to put them in on picture day. 'Nuff said.

However.

I am not a mean person, by nature. I am a giver. A point of light, to quote a withering Bush. I am one part Kum Ba Yah, one part Buddhist, and two parts ACLU sympathizer. Sometimes, it's not a matter of race. Sometimes, ugly is as ugly does. I think Forrest Gump said that.

I am ready to believe that half these girls did not get the Picture Day memo. Or that they had a horrific Beauty Shop Surprise (and we have all been there) on Picture Day. Or that the wind in New Jersey was frightful at the very moment they walked out of the dorms. That happens more than you'd imagine.

I looked closely and, from this collection, can spy no tattoos. Some game photos, though, do reveal a sort of prison motif with the body art. Not on everybody, mind you, but Imus has an undebatable point that some of these young ladies are, indeed, tattooed.

I have no information about the personal life of any of these young women. They may all be ho's of historic proportions. They may also be virgins. I have been to college, however. I lived in the dorm with the women's basketball team at The University of Kansas. I can tell you that Vegas would give good odds that if any one of them is a ho, she's a gay ho. Not that there's anything wrong with that. God knows... So, giving the benefit of the doubt, there may well be grounds for a ho-based apology.

But Imus can only be accused of a half-truth when it comes to nap. Clearly, he was batting .500 when it came to questioning the texture of the team hair. Some of these ladies did not approach Basketball Picture Day like they might approach, say, Church Day. Or First Date Day. Or an average Tuesday.

But mad props for making the National Finals of the Women's NCAA Basketball Tourney. Nobody gave them a scholarship for their catwalk skills. They are hired, if you will, to knock people down and put a ball through a net. On that count, these are remarkably successful young women.

As for Imus's badmouthing on National TV and Radio?

Nap Up. Ho's Down.