Condie To The Rescue/What's With The Hair?

Bereft for weeks of anything to say about the John (Don) Imus "Nappy Headed Ho's" brouhaha, Our Only President Bush suddenly remembered that he knew a Person Of Color who could offer comment on behalf of the administration:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the highest-ranking black woman in government history, said the racist, sexist comments that got radio shock jock Don Imus fired were "disgusting."

We here at SMTS couldn't agree more and congratulate the Administration for remembering Dr. Rice's presence, not to mention her race. We would gently suggest, with all due respect, that someone look under that ever-present 1966 "That Girl" Marlo Thomas flip for a healthy portion of the 5,000,000 missing White House Emails.

Nobody wears a 40 year-old hairstyle without having an ulterior motive. $20 says Karl Rove put her up to it. Apparently in the course of Staying The Course, the emails, most coarse, went off course, of course.

We believe a summary apology is due the nation in general and Hillary Rodham Clinton, in particular. After all, these are the same people who had projectile diarrhea for years over a few missing billing files from her pre-First Lady years. Those files turned up on the coffee table - like they do. But not FIVE MILLION of them.

We're betting Bill and Melinda Gates laughed themselves into foreplay at the very notion that 5 Million emails could simply disappear. We also believe they are probably permanently banned from the White House on the off chance that they know the point-and-click method of retrieving the irretrievable. Further, no 6th grade prodigies will be allowed past the Rose Garden for the same reasons.

The folks over at Apple have been issued dinner invitations, in contrast. White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino giggled behind her hand when questioned about the Apple invites before recovering and responding that "Nobody here uses a Mac. I just wanted to meet the guy in their Mac/PC commercials."

We still say, "The hair. Check under the hair."

Hey, D.A.-for-now Mike Nifong, Durham, N.C. prosecuting attorney in the Duke LaCrosse rape-case-turned-apology-fest is probably shopping his resume. I bet HE could find 5 million emails in no time! And even if he couldn't, he could charge an entire athletic team with their theft - just on principle!

Never ignore the obvious option.