Crow and Rove Debate Global WarmingAP
WASHINGTON (April 22) - Karl Rove's debate with singer Sheryl Crow and producer Laurie David about global warming heated the atmosphere at a black-tie Washington dinner.
Well, we knew it would happen sooner or later. Karl Rove would have to answer for his role in something eventually. For whatever reason, we really thought Congress would beat Sheryl Crow to the punch.
The story goes that the former, almost Mrs. Lance Armstrong (a title shared with Matthew McConaughey, if you believe everything you hear) approached Rove at the Yuk Fest that is The Washington Correspondents' Dinner. Ms. Crow reportedly asked Mr. Rove to reconsider his position on Global Warming and to look into the whole Earth is Flat theory, as well.
Rove reportedly lost his mind and declared himself King of 37 states, all notably inland and immune from the effects of rising tides. In Rove's defense, the evening was hosted by Rich Little, a long-dead comedian who resurrected his Richard Nixon impression without a hint of irony. We at SMTS believe that 15 minutes of Rich Little could make anybody cranky and not just a little delusional.
Famed documentarian, Laurie David, who shot the Al Gore documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth" had initiated the exchange. David was present to collect footage for her next piece, a revealing look at elective dentistry, with the working title "An Inconvenient Tooth". David captured the entire exchange on a handheld video camera, but reports that in the editing process it was discovered that Rove's image ceased to appear on tape the moment he began to rant. The White House worked quickly this afternoon to quell suspicions on The Hill that Rove is an actual demonic entity whose image cannot be captured on film once he "manifests".
President Bush, who declined the traditional opportunity to poke fun at himself, instead spent 10 uncomfortable minutes expressing his anguish over the Virginia Tech massacre and explaining that his nickname for Rove, "Beelzebubba", was "in no way related to Satanism, The Prince of Darkness, or Dr. James Dobson."
Joan Dellabiagio, a former housekeeper for John Ashcroft said, "This is not the first time. At a Christmas party in 2003, Rove went ape when someone mentioned Hanukkah. I snapped his picture at that very minute, but the photo only shows the bar and a Jewish guy who appears to be arguing with the Christmas tree. Weird."
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez issued a statement that says, "I have hours of footage of Karl losing his cool. Take my word for it, he's no demon. " When asked if he would testify to that under oath, the Attorney General said, "Are you kidding? Every time I touch a Bible, it leaves a scar."
Gonzalez also declined to produce the videos, citing national security concerns.
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