Seein' as how this is the Gentile version of the Sabbath and whatnot, we decided to be a bit more spiritual for one day out of seven and bring you some chicken soup for your soul.
One of our favorite examples of Mental Illness In The Media is Pat Robertson. On his Web site, http://www.700club.com, he invites visitors to "Bring It On", by way of submitting hard-hitting questions on any topic. Pat then channels Mussolini and Joan Crawford in giving his answers.
We thought it would be fun to give his answers and then give our own answers. Then we challenge you to pick who gave which answer. Think of it as a break from the Sunday crossword.
Today's question comes from Tempted in Turkey:
I’m currently studying in Turkey, and one day I hope to move here or the Middle East. I met a guy that I’m attracted to, and we share a lot of the same interests; however, he is Muslim. Nothing has started and nothing will, but is it a sin to be attracted to him -- to be attracted to non-Christians?
And now the answers:
CHOICE A: Dear Tempted,
Let’s face it: he’s a man; you’re a woman. It’s not a sin to be female with a male. But let me tell you, don’t get married to a Muslim. You will be treated as a second class person. They will take the rights away from you. If you have children, they’re liable to take your children away from you. It is a hellish situation for a Christian woman or an American woman to get involved in a marriage with somebody from one of these other cultures that treats women like dirt, and you just don’t need it. You may be physically attracted; but remember, that will happen to you later on. So don’t do it.
CHOICE B: Dear Tempted,
What does he look like? You know how sometimes people of Middle Eastern or Mediterranean descent can be overly-hairy? This should be a primary factor in your decision. You say that you're attracted to him, but have you seen him without a shirt? Or have you taken a peek at his ass? An overly hairy ass is nothing but a breeding ground for all manner of pestilence.
It is not a sin to be attracted to this man or any non-Christian. In fact, you'll find that a non-Christian is much more likely to buy you a drink, tell you you're pretty, and then give you a memorable 45 minutes in the back seat of a Hyundai. And you don't have to pay for any of it!
Jesus loves him. Why shouldn't you? Go for it! But don't come crying to us the first time your jewelry gets snagged in his back hair.
Amen.
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