Ho

This woman is a ho:

Only if you get the New York Post would you know that this is Crystal Gail Mangum the (former)(false)(stripping)(previously arrested)(mother of three) accuser of three nice (pretty) Duke LaCrosse players in a rape case that will likely result in the disbarment of the D.A. who prosecuted the boys.

Former Country Icon For Three Seconds Crystal Gayle issued a press release distinguishing herself from the accuser and pointing out that she was working at IHOP while her agent tried to get her a booking at the Tiki Room of the Holiday Inn in Shreveport. Kraft Foods, makers of Crystal Light, denied that they had offered this woman ho a spokesperson job. Crystal meth users were evenly split on whether they would hire her to get nekkid and dance ho.

To think...If Don Imus had only held off a couple of weeks, he'd still have Sprint as an advertiser, MSNBC as a broadcaster, and a verifiable nappy-headed ho at whom he could take a haymaker of a swing without suffering through any conversations with the Right Reverend Al Sharpton.

"Coincidentally", the young woman gave birth quite nearly 9 months after the (falsely) alleged rape at the Duke LaCrosse party. It wasn't even the first time, we now know, that she had cried wolf rape, having alleged a gang rape some years earlier and failing to pursue the case after sullying the names of the accused.

In the spirit of fairness, since we've been treated to the photos and personal bios of the entire Duke LaCrosse team, we can now view the victim young lady lyin' ho who cancelled a LaCrosse season.

Imagine the dozens of people who were left wondering "Wha' Happened" when the LaCrosse schedule was nixed in the blink of a (false) eyelash. Confession: I don't give a shit about LaCrosse. I was hoping maybe there would be pictures of LaCrosse penis as part of the evidence a la Michael Jackson. I understand LaCrosse is played outdoors with butterfly nets or baseball bats or hockey sticks or something. Fabulous sport. You should try it.

Mostly, I express my support and sympathy for the falsely accused and now summarily exonerated boys in hopes that when they become doctors, lawyers, architects and the like, they will remember that a nice middle-aged man with a healthy pension once said nice things about them and would like to see them naked.

Hey...that's more honest than SHE was. And don't tell me you weren't thinking something similar. YOU just didn't blog it.